All frustrations arise from unfulfilled expectations.
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When things go differently than expected, the default assumption is that performance is lacking. Many times, however, the expectation was unreasonable, or, at a minimum, poorly communicated.
In getting along with others, adjusting our expectation may be more effective than adjusting their performance.
If I plant seeds in the morning and expect to harvest that afternoon, the performance of my garden is not the reason for my disappointment. My expectation must change.
In any situation causing frustration, it is wise to ask, "Is this a problem of performance, or of expectation?"
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If we take issue with the way others magnify their callings in the Church or elsewhere, we must always remember to be quick to observe, and slow to judge.
If we do judge, we must judge others only according to the light and knowledge they have, not that which we possess. It's far too easy to assume that others should or shouldn't know or do certain things. Typically, this kind of judgment is based only upon our own experiences, knowledge, and motivations. This will not produce the kind of unity we are seeking in doing the Lord's work in the Lord's way. We must open our minds to considering others' experiences. This is difficult to learn.
Only after extended experience walking with another down the path of discipleship can we begin to understand them. Only by special revelation from God can we hope to have real insight into another's mind or heart. Only by cultivating a charitable outlook can we see things as they really are, and begin to see others the way God sees them. Only by choosing to become more like God can we see Him as He really is. (1 John 3: 2-3; Moroni 7: 48)
"Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature... for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."
1 Samuel 16: 7
If we expect Church leaders to operate as efficiently and effectively as seasoned full-time professionals, we will be disappointed. This disappointment is best not to be directed to the one whose performance is too easily questioned, but to our own expectations.
As long as the Lord limits Himself to using volunteers operating in their free time, we must take up that issue with Him, not with our fellow servants, of whom we would wish better performance.
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Misunderstandings of what the Savior would do during His mortal life caused terrible disappointments and frustrations.
Misguided expectations of His life and ministry led many to disbelieve, even to persecute and condemn.
Were these the result of any failure on His part? Did His first coming to Earth lack in its import, by not fulfilling all the prophesied expectations regarding His second coming?
I say unto you, nay.
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Love more deeply. Be a little kinder. Exercise a little more faith in people, including yourself.
See also:
The Way of the Disciple, by Dieter F. Uchtdorf
“An High Priest of Good Things to Come” by Jeffrey R. Holland
“Lord, I Believe” by Jeffrey R. Holland