Imagine the hardest thing you've overcome.
Maybe you don't consider yourself as having actually "overcome" this trial. Perhaps you just “endured” it, in the somberest sense.
Maybe you're just starting up the beginning slope, not even "over" much of it yet.
Maybe you're feeling buried under the hill, struggling to breathe.
Perhaps, you're not even ready to begin the climb, or even to approach the beginning of the incline. Maybe you're just frozen there, staring up the mountain, overwhelmed with the enormity of the task. Or maybe you're turned away, not even wanting to look at what's ahead.
We each have some such cross to carry. All of us.
If you've moved on past such a hurdle, remember the relief! Don't just go "back to normal." Your new normal should include an awareness of your struggle and its benefits, not a forgetting.
If you are just now working through it, imagine the relief that is coming!
Wherever you are on this journey, you can find Jesus there beside you.
His invitation is to cast off the burdensome yokes you carry, and exchange them for His lighter one. (Matthew 11: 28-30)
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If asked to forgive one who hurt you deeply, what would you say?
As I face challenging problems, many caused by the actions of others, I imagine Jesus asking me this from time to time.
"Will you forgive (so and so)?"
And, I strive to be ready to respond:
"Yes, I will forgive. I don't have the power to fix this, but I know You do. I don't trust that other person, or myself to fully fix this, but I trust in You. You can fix this. I believe in You! I will forgive."
Forgiving someone who has hurt us doesn't require trusting them again. There are natural consequences of actions, regardless of repentance and forgiveness.
Don't burden yourself with inappropriate guilt or shame for choosing not to pretend "like nothing happened." We must be wise as serpents, yet harmless as doves. (Matthew 10: 16)
Jesus promises not to remember repented sins, but He allows us to remember, as a help. We can avoid similar mistakes more easily in the future, and can truly grow by our repentance, and our forgiveness.
It's easy to forgive when the offending one recognizes their mistake and expresses sincere apology, perhaps even asking for forgiveness. What about those who are just as nasty as the day they hurt us? Those who have gone about their way without knowing they hurt us, or worse, know they hurt us, and take pleasure in it?
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Try to imagine the possible unseen struggles people face in our fallen world.
That mean lady yelling at the food worker who got her order wrong—what if her child was murdered last year?
That kid who picked on you in the school playground—what if his dad beat his mom every night, and died in a drunken rage at the muzzle of a police officer?
That person at work who always seems to "have it out for you"—what if they were born into frightening poverty, and now are so happy just to have a job, and are trying to prove their worth in the best way they know how?
I'm not saying these circumstances justify anyone mistreating anyone else. But they may be the real reasons they do things which are so easily taken as offensive.
I find it easier to get along with others when I imagine unseen struggles and treat them accordingly. When we assume others are experiencing some great struggle we know nothing about, we are correct much of the time.
In the times when we're wrong about this, we still win, because we've treated someone with greater kindness than we otherwise may have.
Be a little kinder.
Kinder to others, kinder to yourself.
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What if today is the day you need to forgive?
"If not us, then who? If not now, then when?"
You have a great power to make positive changes in your life, by accepting the Savior's invitation and commandment to forgive.
The sooner I stop blaming others for my problems, the faster I make of myself what I need to become.
The sooner I forgive others, the faster I get back on the right track to where I need to go.
Regardless of any other person's current attitude or indifference, we can forgive.
Don't wait. Relieve yourself of unnecessary weight and misery.
Forgive.
See also:
The Healing Power of Forgiveness, by James E. Faust
Forgiveness, by Gordon B. Hinckley
Forgiveness Will Change Bitterness to Love, by David E. Sorensen