At age 18, I was contemplating the right course to take in life. As a child, I had always seemed to assume I'd serve as a full-time missionary. However, when the time came for the real decision to act one way or the other, great difficulty arose, blinding me to the correct path.
I had become close with a girlfriend, who I felt needed my continued support. We had grown to be that way by working through some great challenges together. It was more than just young infatuation. I honestly had a good way of explaining how it was more expedient that I remain home to be with her. My intentions were righteous, my feelings were pure.
In this time of uncertainty, I sought guidance from God with great earnesty. At length, by studying the scriptures, I was led to understand a little more of the Oath and Covenant of the Priesthood. (See Doc. & Cov. 84)
I decided that my service as a missionary really wasn't a matter of my choosing, but that of the President of the Church, who extends calls to missionary service. Having been ordained an Elder, I was obligated to prepare myself for missionary service. I trusted in the Prophet to tell me what the Lord would have me do.
If it were expedient that I stay home, I believed I would be told as much in response to my submission of a missionary application.
If it was right that I serve away from home, I'd be given a missionary call.
While wading through these uncertain times, laid up with a broken arm, I concluded that if I were about to serve as a missionary, I ought to know more surely that the Book of Mormon was the word of the Lord. I didn't want to waste my time while waiting on the leaders of the Church.
I had always believed the Book to be true, and had read large portions of it. I could recite many teachings contained in the Book. But I had never read the whole thing cover to cover.
I retired to the woods near my home, and prayed aloud, asking if the Book of Mormon were true.
Before the words completely left my mouth, other words pierced and entered my mind. The thought was not my own. The words clearly came, as if I were hearing them being spoken to my spiritual ears.
The words were: Read The Book.
I was astonished, and immediately embarrassed. Here I knelt, asking God to reach down and reveal something to me that I had not invested any real effort to know for myself. I thought of His children throughout the world, and the terrible suffering many endure. I felt ashamed for seeking His valuable time, while there were so many other things worthy of His attention and watchful care.
My sorrow was "godly," as Paul described. (2 Corinthians 7: 9-10)
I ended the prayer and quickly left. In addition to feeling foolish, I was humbled, grateful, and determined.
I went back to the house and began reading the Book of Mormon from the beginning, trying to forget everything I thought I knew about the Book. I wanted to have a completely open mind, to start afresh.
I had nothing else to do, so I read all day. Then I read the next day, and the next. I believe it was three or four days to get through the whole Book.
I'm not sure what I was expecting, but the experience I had easily exceeded it.
I read so quickly that everything was fresh in my mind at the same time. As I finished reading the final chapters, it had only been a few days since I had read the opening ones. Moroni's final words were intertwined with Nephi's opening.
I was shown the whole history of the Book of Mormon in one majestic, sweeping glance. I saw the family of Lehi travel to America, and establish themselves. I saw the Nephites separate from the Lamanites. I watched as faithful writers treasured up the stories of their people, and recorded them. I saw the Jaredite story. I felt the longing pleadings of Mormon and Moroni to take these things seriously. I saw the gathering and scattering of God's peoples over time. I saw nations arise and fall. I watched covenants being made, renewed, and remade, almost like links being forged, welded, and added to a chain. I saw the whole story of the Book, deftly presented to my mind like watching it as a movie.
I was shown the Book was true as plainly as witnessing any event imparts a knowledge of its truthfulness to those who have seen that event. I knew it was true. I had seen it. I was now a witness.
I've since rejoiced in the kindred experience of Parley P. Pratt, who similarly read in an extended session, and recounted: “As I read, the spirit of the Lord was upon me, and I knew and comprehended that the book was true, as plainly and manifestly as a man comprehends and knows that he exists.”
The vision I had of the Book of Mormon allowed the Holy Ghost to give me the very kind of experience I had presumptuously sought from the Lord when I prayed earlier, but in a totally unexpected format. It was not that I had beheld with my natural eyes, for it was a spiritual experience. But it seemed to be like a relatively "natural" coming to know, according to logic, reason, wisdom, and experience. I basked in the light of my new understanding. I marveled at the beauty of the scene.
This was the first I'd ever learned of the great covenant-making pattern that comprised the framework for the unfolding story of the Book of Mormon. I came to know clearly what is written on the ancient title page of the Book, which briefly outlines its purpose:
"Which is to show unto the remnant of the house of Israel what great things the Lord hath done for their fathers; and that they may know the covenants of the Lord, that they are not cast off forever—And also to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that JESUS is the CHRIST, the ETERNAL GOD, manifesting himself unto all nations"
I received this mighty teaching according to the symbol of a tree, as given in Zenos's great allegory (Jacob 5). I thought of the words of John the Baptist regarding roots and branches (Matthew 3), and the words of Moroni to Joseph Smith, explaining Malachi's closing prophecy of the Old Testament (Joseph Smith—History 1: 36-39; See Malachi 3 and 4).
These learnings were like being offered an olive leaf or branch, personally handed to me by the Lord. They brought me great peace.
I was brought to an understanding of the ancient covenants to be fulfilled in the latter days. I pondered on what little I knew about Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, and their family history. I thought about the covenant framework they constructed by their faithfulness to God and His commandments.
I then had an experience that defies explanation. I've tried to write it and share it, but it is very difficult for me to do, because it was not given to me in words. It was a visual experience of things I had never seen before.
My vision of the Book of Mormon was stretched backward into eternity, exposing the long history preceding Nephi's beginning of that Book. I saw the whole history of the Earth; its creation, fall from the presence of God, the struggles of Adam and Eve and their enormous family of descendants in this current state of mortal limitations, the building up of kingdoms, nations, churches. Wars, perplexities, disasters. The joy of the saints within what I've since learned to recognize as Zion societies, such as those built by the people of Enoch, Melchizedek, Benjamin, and Nephites after Christ. I saw false doctrines spread like black, smothering coverings, hiding the light of truth as people chose to serve Satan instead of God. I saw the building up of the Kingdom of God, reclaiming them from obscurity and bringing a wider joy than the relatively isolated instances of Zion being established by a few righteous prophets. I saw the people and the Earth prepared to receive Christ at His second coming. I saw a glimpse of the glory to be enjoyed during the Millennium, with Christ firmly established as King of Kings and Lord of lords.
I saw the vision stretch far into the future, with the Earth renewed as a beautiful paradise, and ultimately a Celestial Kingdom for those who endure to the end of its journey back to the presence of the Father, in eternal burnings of brilliant light and glory.
In a way defying my current temporal understanding of linear causes and effects, the experience placed me somehow witnessing all these events at once, but in a definite sequence, while simultaneously dropping me off at the point of this eternal timeline in which I found my own mortal life.
The experience I often relate was like listening to a phonograph that is playing beautiful music slow and stop. There was a hushed expectant feeling of urgency. Everything was still happening around me, but with a suspended sense of the passing of time. It wasn't progressing from the past to the present, to the future. It was like I was inside a loaf of bread that had been sliced in two. Looking at one slice on my left, I saw everything prior to my life, and another slice on my right, beyond which was everything yet to happen after me.
The situation caused me to feel like all attention was on me. Words came into my mind. I don't remember them exactly, but the feelings imparted approximately match these ideas:
"You have seen great and marvelous things. I have given you a gift. Now, what are YOU going to do about it?"
The experience ended with this climactic questioning reflection.
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This Book of Mormon experience of mine has shaped everything that has happened in my life since. I am always amazed at the mercy extended to me by the Lord in sharing these things with me. As I reflect and remember, I am compelled to acknowledge that He is very generous to any who come to Him in a humble spirit of seeking. He can show you marvelous things.
I have not received a direct yes or no answer in words to my uttered question of whether or not the Book of Mormon is true.
I think God knew I would enjoy seeing it for myself, instead of just being told.
I think He delights in showing more than telling. (Deuteronomy 32: 7)
I can spend a lot of time teaching and sharing why I know the Book of Mormon to be true.
More important than what I know about the Book, is sharing with others the path to follow to discover it for themselves.
So, word for word, exactly as I have been commanded from the mouth of God, is my testimony of this Book of books to the world:
READ
THE
BOOK
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Later that year, Thomas S. Monson extended a call to serve as a missionary, which I accepted and magnified. I served from September 2009 to September 2011 in the California Anaheim Mission. My service there has set the foundation for all my service since.
I thank my Heavenly Father for giving me the opportunities and blessings I've enjoyed, and I look forward to the great unfolding of His work to be seen in the future.
He will gather His people unto Himself.
I invite you to come and join with us.
There is room for you.
See also:
A Testimony Vibrant and True, by Gordon B. Hinckley
Flooding the Earth with the Book of Mormon, by Ezra Taft Benson
Safety for the Soul, by Jeffrey R. Holland
The Book of Mormon: What Would Your Life Be Like without It? by Russell M. Nelson
The Book of Mormon—Keystone of Our Religion, by Ezra Taft Benson