"What is life?" asks George Harrison.
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans," sings John Lennon.
I wonder if these former Beatles, looking back, could really imagine their younger selves, looking forward to the way life has since turned out. Surely their future held different challenges and adventures while still to come. Perhaps their dreams then included staying together as a band, enjoying a long career of touring and creating. After all, Paul is well past age "Sixty-Four," and has never discussed the topic with me. These things I can only guess.
However, two things are certain.
Continuing on with their creative collaborating would have led to magnificent memorable musical expressions of the caliber only they could fashion. Alas, the world may never get to know the mythical grandeur of that elusive impossibility: A fully-fledged 1980s Beatles' sound. Sigh.
The other certainty, though, is in that version of history we would never have known the spectacular sounds of these men, working as individuals, continuing on in different directions after they broke up.
John may never have had Sean. We would have missed the glimpse of John's fatherly love exposed in "Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)."
George may never have felt what "[he] can't say" in "What Is Life."
I'm sure you can think of things you wish were different. What about your life is not like you imagined? That younger you, what did they see? Is that what you see now?
Take heart. You are where you are now because of all that has come before this moment. Not in spite of it, but because of it. You have been shaped, sculpted, broken down, built up.
I encourage an open mind, wide enough to consider this:
What if, at this moment, everything in your life is exactly as it should be?
Not perfect. Not even comfortable. Just, as it should be. I am not belittling any pains or struggles. Surely there have been inexcusable injustices and deliberate derailings. There have been honest mistakes. There have been crushing disappointments. But I'm not talking about all of that now. I'm only talking about this moment.
Being as we should be right now does not mean never changing. It does not mean things are good enough for the future. But it does mean they are good enough now, if only to cause us to bring to pass the right kind of future. It does not mean the pain you feel is deserved, or just. For example, it does not mean staying in an abusive relationship. It does mean you are in the right place to change your pain, if needed. It means it is time to begin bold steps to exit abuse. Or, to end it in yourself, if you are an abuser.
We all have ways we need to improve. There are other harmful habits or destructive distractions we must change. Being as we should be always means changing for the better. Always learning, always growing. It means making peace, not simply waiting for it. It might mean returning to what Ronald Reagan described as "the past way of facing the future."
I have received untold help from talking with a therapist, who gave me a few mental tools to add to my bag in facing my future. This only happened because I was in the right place to accept the help. Everything was as it should be in the moment I began therapy, which allowed the powerful changes away from the state in which I was wallowing. I was in the right place for the moment, which was not the right path for the future. My internal discomfort helped me to recognize the need for a change. It's ironic, but having things exactly as they should be in life often leads to greatly needed positive changes.
My life so far has been a repeated cycle of learning to accept things the way they are by seeking the lesson to be learned, and then being given another growth opportunity by further changes: some forced, some voluntary.
You may wonder if you are good enough. Smart enough, pretty enough, strong enough... etc. I say, enough! You are enough. Your future really is bright. You have what you need to start.
Start over if you need to, but don't throw everything out. Decide what you need to keep on doing, and do that, too. The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The next best time? Now.
Imagine yourself, far in the future, looking back at this time in your life, and marveling at the choices you made now, and how they led to the pure happiness you enjoy then, now.
You can fix the past, but not by making it like it never happened. Take what you need from it and keep going. You can do this.
Realizing the great things ahead may very well come down to just one day. This day.
A day in the life.
Let it be.
